Pack Ordinances
by peanutj
Summary: These are just little ficlets about the pack laws and how they came about. This is an ensemble work so everyone and ever ship will be included. Leave me requests if you guys want and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hola, readers! since I felt like I was turning into Jeff Davis in my other story, I decided to start these little ficlets for you guys!**

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**_Law #1: Under any circumstances is Stiles allowed to have gum._**

_Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop_

"Seriously, Stiles cut it out otherwise I'll punch all your teeth out and you'll never be able to chew gum again," Jackson threatened.

"Hey, hey! You can't hit the driver while driving, okay? Keep it up and you'll be walking the rest of the way to Derek's," Stiles huffed, keeping his eyes on the road. Jackson, defeated, made a note to himself to never carpool with Stiles in his stupid Jeep ever again.

"C'mon, Stiles it's annoying," Scott defended from the passenger seat.

"No. Annoying is being able to hear you and Isaac during your gross sexy wolf times with my human hearing," Stiles complained with a shudder. Scott opened his mouth to argue, but instead blushed at the accusation once he realized Stiles was right.

Stiles wasn't a big gum chewer. Everyone knew that. But when the boy did have gum you could hear him smacking a mile away and it seemed as if he were doing it purposely to get on everyone's nerves.

Derek was feeling particularly irritable today so when the pack invited themselves over for the evening for god knows what, he wasn't exactly thrilled.

He sat in his room alone as he heard the sounds of several cars outside his building. With a recording breaking eye roll, he made his way downstairs to greet (grunt) the group of teens. By the time he had made his way downstairs, they all had invited themselves in and started making themselves comfortable on the sectional.

"Hey, Derek," Scott greeted cheerfully as he slid the large door shut behind him. Derek simply watched the teen wolf walk away to wedge himself in between Isaac and Lydia on the couch where they were flipping through the channels on the flat screen. Derek narrowed his eyes at the scene and walked to kitchen to grab some water. Once he got there, he dug through the fridge and pulled out a bottle. He broke the seal and was about to take a sip until he heard a small popping sound coming from behind the fridge door. He froze and shut the door to see an oblivious Stiles chewing obnoxiously on gum.

"Hey, sour wolf," he greeted in between smacks of his gum. Derek merely stared in response. Stiles frowned and began popping his gum several times in a row. "What?" He asked in between pops.

"Spit it out," Derek elusively ordered. Stiles blew a particular big bubble with an innocent frown on his face.

"Spit what out?"

"The _gum_," he growled. "Spit it out or else I'll make you."

Stiles let out a short laugh before snagging the bottle of water from Derek. "Sure you will, Derek. Are you forgetting who held you up in a pool for two hours?" He asked rhetorically, taking a sip of his stolen water.

Unbeknownst to Stiles, Derek's eyes flashed red as Stiles continued his unceremonious gum popping and smacking that resembled a cow munching on grass. He took a single menacing step toward the boy and glared. "Cut it out, Stiles."

Stiles heartbeat picked up as he too took a step toward the alpha. He lifted an eyebrow and blew a single bubble and waited for a reaction.

Derek shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Stiles eyed his face, his eyes lingering on his lips for a split second before Derek made his next move. He slammed Stiles against the refrigerator with a fistful of his shirt in each hand. He slammed his lips to Stiles' mouth and waited before he moved them. To Derek's own surprise, Stiles moved his mouth against his. Derek didn't waste any time and licked Stiles' bottom lip for entrance. Stiles' easily granted him access as his heart continued beating at the same rate as a hummingbird's. Derek's tongue quickly found the gum and presented his dominance by taking it from Stiles' mouth. He pulled away with the same glare etched on his face. He felt a small feeling of satisfaction when he saw how deep the blush on Stiles' face was. He snatched the bottle of water back and turned around only to be faced with the shocked faces Jackson, Isaac, and Allison. Scott and Lydia seemed unimpressed with the interaction that just unfolded in front of them.

"You owe me 20 bucks," Lydia announced with her hand outstretched toward Scott.

As Derek walked away with a smug look on his face, Stiles made a note to carry a pack of gum in his pocket from here on out.

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**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next installment of Pack Ordinances and I was inspired by New Girl because that show gives me life y'all.**

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**_Law #5 The Jar_**

Ever since the pack became—well, a _pack_, John Stilinski had noticed that Stiles' annual injuries had decreased. By one or two, but hey, it's progress. Just like its progress of him coming to terms of his only son becoming friends with supernatural creatures he didn't even know existed. But after a demonstration and a little collateral damage that was fixed by the pack themselves, Sheriff Stilinski grew into it.

He didn't mind when they came over because the pack generally cleaned up after themselves and replaced something when they broke. Yeah, he had gone through about fifteen lamps that month, but each was better than the last. He did have a few complaints though. The wolves' appetite was in a word; inhuman and food barely had the chance to have a shelf life before it disappeared into someone's stomach forever. And he only had to complain once that his front lawn was _not_ a parking lot before a carpool system was made. He didn't know how they managed to fix these two problems until he came one morning after an overnight shift and saw the pack crowded in the kitchen.

"Oh, hey dad," Stiles greeted. He was gripping a piece of paper in one hand and pen in the other. There was a jar labeled 'sour wolf/sour human/sour kanima/sour former Kanima/sour hunter' with some words scratched out. There was a fair amount of money that filled the old pickle jar. And now the whole thing suddenly made sense. "Do you want anything from the store?"

"Uh," were the only words the Sheriff could form because of the scene on front of him. "So far we've got Cheetos, pretzels, Coke, Pepsi, string cheese, apples, grapes, ice cream, yogurt, pizza rolls, Reese's cups, Cheez-its, Fruit By The Foot, bandages, gauze, antiseptic, rubbing alco—"

"Coffee," the sheriff interrupted with a small laugh. "Just _coffee._"

"You got it," Stiles winked before scribbling the request down. He passed it down to his left where Derek was. He merely scanned it before passing it to his left where Isaac was. Isaac added a few things and passed it to Erica and so on and so forth. John watched the entire thing with an impressed expression before disappearing upstairs to unwind for the night. "Night dad!" Stiles called after him. There as a chorus of 'night, sheriff!' from the others.

Back at the kitchen counter, the long list had finally made its way back to Stiles. "Do we even have enough money for all this?" He asked, clearly exasperated and looked to Derek for answers.

"We should, Jackson was extra douchey this week," Erica dead panned. Jackson merely rolled his eyes and didn't bother to argue her undeniable point.

"You guys just suck at following the rules," Derek explained with a shrug. "I mean Scott and Isaac can't keep their hands off each other during pack meetings; it just adds up."

"Oh, like you're the epitome of perfection," Lydia scolded, glaring openly between Stiles and Derek. "You two abuse the sock on the door—it's annoying."

"Hey, hey," Stiles spoke up, pointing a finger at the strawberry blonde. "Our sex life is none of your businesses."

"It is when it's weird to look at a doorknob to not see a sock on it," Erica piped up.

"Even in public," Boyd added.

"Wait," Scott yelled. "Have you two ever…in my room?"

There was a beat of silence and a shared look in between Derek and Stiles. There was a chorus of 'oh my god's' and a broken Scott. Isaac immediately gripped his hand and whispered something in Scott's ear that instantly put the boy in a better mood.

"Jar!" Allison yelled with a frown etched on her face.

"Honestly, I didn't see how you didn't smell it Scott," Derek said with the same stoic expression in his face. He stuffed a twenty into the almost full jar and was obviously less than remorseful about having sex on his beta's bed.

"Dude, I'm so sorry, it just happened so fast," Stiles gasped with very red ears. Scott swung his and Isaac's hand between them and rocked back and forth on his heels happily.

"It's okay, bro," he grinned.

"Look," Boyd began, snatching the list and pen from Stiles. "We'll add condoms to the list and there's a mutual agreement that we all have sex on our own bed, agreed?" There were mumbled agreements as Boyd scribbled the item on the list. "How many should we get?"

"100?"

"No, those only last a week," Allison said knowingly. Everyone whipped their heads toward her until she looked at Scott. A blush crept on both their faces as everyone put the pieces together.

"Okay so 100 count is out," Boyd announced, shifting the conversation back to its original point. "300?"

"Maybe?"

"I mean how much does everyone exactly have sex?"

"Isaac, you can't just ask people how much they have sex."

"500?"

"Boyd, the nine of us can't just go buy a box of 500 condoms."

"What are you? The condom police?"

"_Listen_," Derek interrupted, his eyes flashing red. "We're getting 500 and the last person to use one come _straight _to me no matter what, got it? And that's _not_ an invitation to have sex in the loft, understood?" There were silent nods of agreement. "Good. You guys know where to go once we get to the store and please do not let this be a repeat of the Walmart fiasco a month ago. We're running out of places to get all this crap so keep it together."

"Reaaaady," Stiles sang, tossing his hand in the middle of the semi-circle. There were reluctant groans and eye rolls before everyone eventually place their hands in the middle on top of one another. "Break!"

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**Review and leave a request if you want!**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Law #12: No one touches a crossbow. Exception: Allison._**

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On Friday, Derek had promised the entire weekend to train Jackson after his sudden transition from the Kanima. The library remained out of commission thanks to a certain murderous lizard. By default, everyone else had tagged along with homework and notes for their final exams of the year. Of course all that remained untouched. The boys were outside sparring (Stiles refereeing) while the girls had resided indoors and was deep in a discussion of their summer plans.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Isaac yelled, panic wide in his eyes. Isaac knew from the get-go that he and Jackson shouldn't have been paired off to fight, but Derek lectured them about pack structure and everyone needed to trust everyone. And so the two boys had no choice but to fight each other. The fight seemed pretty one-sided since Jackson already had a Hulk-like temper and now his recent transformation from in between supernatural creatures was just unfair to Isaac. So when he saw Allison's crossbow lying on the ground, loaded and ready to go, he took advantage.

"Isaac, are you kidding me?" Jackson growled, eyes glowing a brilliant blue. There was an arrow sticking out right inbetween Jackson's collarbone and neck.

"It was an accident," Isaac defended, running to aid the beta. It's true, it was an accident. Isaac only meant to shoot to miss to slow Jackson down a bit, but clearly that had backfired miserably. "I'm sorry!"

"Pull it out, idiot!"

"Are we supposed to? I mean aren't you supposed to leave it in?"

"Does it look like I know?"

"Okay, just hold still."

"_Ow_!"

"Well, stop moving so much!"

"I would if you weren't so awful at this!"

"Stop acting like such a big baby, Jackson."

"Screw you, Lahey."

"_OW_! Seriously Jackson?"

"Here, let me pull it out for you!"

"You _dick_."

"What the hell is going on?" Allison interrupted. The scene in front of her was almost comical if her crossbow wasn't in the mix. Jackson had an arrow sticking out of upper shoulder while Isaac had one sticking out of his upper thigh. Each had a firm grip on the others arrow while the crossbow was currently in Jackson's possession. Lydia had come running behind Allison outside to see what all the fuss was all about.

"Idiots," she sighed with an eye roll. It didn't take much time for the rest of the group to walk into the scene. Boyd seemed unimpressed and not at all surprise at their antics. Erica had a smirk stretched over her face while wearing a somewhat proud look that she was giving Isaac. Stiles and Scott were biting back laughs while Derek began rubbing his temples. He sighed in frustration before speaking. "I don't even wanna know what happened."

"But—"

"I do not hear, you do not exist," Derek said forcefully at Isaac and Jackson. He looked over at Allison and motioned for her to grab her weapon. Allison sauntered over to the two boys and easily gripped both arrows and yanked them out with ease while ignoring their cries of pain.

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**Oh, man this is so late you guys. I moved for school and had to get settled in with a new job and everything. I'm working a couple of request I got and will get those out soon, I promise! Thanks for all the support. **

**Read, review, request?**


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